Looking ahead to the next journey.

Having gone through another journey of what I know is just one of many that will eventually lead to my demise, I am thankful that God has given me some insight to what lies ahead.

I know a kidney stone is usually not life threatening but there were moments in this past month that I was certain it was. The chaos that was swimming through my brain, presumably by the medications I was taking, was as real as anything I have experienced. Visions that ranged from demonic forms and grotesque scenes of evil to beautiful scenes of open fields with family and friends enjoying life together. It was tragic and beautiful and of course painfully real to know that my life is closer to being over. That this body will not live forever.

One of the things I've feared is that if I am not here, my family could not survive without me. You know, I'm the one that makes sure everything gets done, every one is where they are suppose to be and I am the glue that holds it all together. But in reality that is not true. My bride keeps us glued to life and the need to be responsible in our daily duties. It became obvious as I slept through the days and nights waiting for my strength to return, life went on just fine without me.

My son took my place. I thought our business would go under and we would lose everything we worked for if I was not controlling the day to day duties. I have found out that everything ran smooth and our clients were blessed by my son's enthusiasm, professionalism, and courtesy as he kept the schedule flowing like clockwork. I still see the boy...and now I must see the man.

I also recognized the friends and family that reached out and encouraged me. To hear from you and know that I am loved is a precious gift. One that I sometimes take for granted...but I pray I never do again.

This wasn't a life threatening journey...but a journey that needed to be taken at this time. A time when my life was the busiest, yet, God granted me a halt to my madness and showed me what truly is. I know I am needed and I know I am loved...but, I know when it's my time to go, God will take care of all those things I thought I was needed to care for.

This life is just a moment in time... and I will continue to do my best and hope when my life is done that it was enough. From what I can tell right now, it is enough. Not because of what I have done or who I am...but what God has done and who He is.