The Bitter End

Many years ago I was at a place in my life where I would have rather not lived should I have to live the way life was at the time. It was not a good place to be. Thankfully, I had a wife who loved me and walked with me through that difficult time. I don't think I ever really considered ending my own life, but I know it would have been fine if it was over. My faith in God was real, but it didn't seem to be enough most days. I had family and friends that loved me...but even that didn't seem to be enough to keep me from wanting life to be over. But through it all faith, family, and friends helped me to see that life, no matter the struggles, was worth living.

One day when I was feeling like I couldn't go on, the song "The Bitter End" poured out of me as if God was taking over my deepest inner being. I came to a place of needing to live again. This was a prayer, confession, and testimony of what I desired. Not what I felt...just desired. Over the years, this song has ministered to me. A great gift from God to me.

We wept for a good friend today. She couldn't take any more of this life. Most of us had no clue she hurt so deeply. She never let on to me or others that she was so close to the edge. It was a complete shock that our friend who loved and laughed so big...could take her own life.


To my friends and family. We all have times when life seems overwhelming. If you are going through the fire please reach out to God, your family, your friends. This life is a gift and I hope we all will remember how precious of a gift it is.

Andrea, we love you and we will miss you...and we will see you again.